In fact, "loving too
much" exists since time immemorial, but just a few
years ago it was considered a real addiction. Every compulsive
thing; self-destructive behavior that could interfere in
the person's mood or routine is considered addiction. It
does not happen suddenly. Such illness can be increased
in years, developing odd feelings, and, in most cases, people
don't even take notice and deal with it as a "bad thing".
Given the fact that this
procedure is rather slow, and only after many years of addiction,
feelings like guilt and shame might appear. According to
a Patrick Carne's Book, called "Out of the Shadows:
Understanding Sexual Addiction (1983)", there are three
different levels of sexual addiction: Level One: Compulsive
masturbation; compulsive heterosexual relationships; compulsive
affairs; obsession with pornography, prostitution, to much
visits to massage parlors and pornographic book stores;
compulsive homosexual "cruising," and anonymous
sex. Level Two: Exhibitionism (both male and female); voyeurism;
indecent liberties (inappropriate touching); obscene phone
calls. Level Three: Child molesting; incest and rape. It
is important to highlight the fact that sexual addiction
has nothing to do with things like "immorality"
and "perversion". In most cases there are facts
in the person's life, like traumas, abuse and affective
disorders. Because of that, treatment is not so simple.
There are six mainstay treatments that the addicted must
pass through. They are: Psycho education: sexual compulsivity
is not well-understood, even by some addictions specialists
and sexologists. Through reading and attending workshops
and lectures, recovering sex and love addicts begin to understand
the dynamics of the addictive and recovery processes. Individual
psychotherapy: for shame reduction, insight into the causes
of addiction, resolution of trauma, and establishment of
new strategies. Group psychotherapy: for shame reduction
too, group support, and to practice healthy interpersonal
skills. Family/couples psychotherapy: to help the family
understand the nature of addictive behavior, to reduce shame,
to improve communication, to set and respect individual
boundaries, and to assist the spouse, significant other,
and/or family member(s). Medication: some sex and love addicts
find antidepressant or counter-anxiety medications helpful
in reducing the urge to act out. Others may have underlying
affective disorders that respond to medication (lithium);
Self-Help Groups: regular participation in one or more "S"-group
(SLAA, SAA, SA, SCA) is, for many, a vital way to redefining
intimate friendships, finding and utilizing peer support,
reducing shame, and enhancing spirituality.
There are, even, support
center's websites available on the internet. A quick research
will show how they work out people's haphazard.
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